What to Do if Spouse Won’t Sign Divorce Papers


By Cassandra Daniels | April 26, 2025

Divorce is never easy, and when a spouse refuses to sign the papers, it can add even more stress to an already emotional situation. However, a lack of cooperation from your partner doesn’t mean you’re stuck or that you can’t move forward. In most cases, the law provides ways to proceed with a divorce—even if the other person drags their feet or outright refuses to sign.

This guide explains what you can do if your spouse won’t sign the divorce papers, what legal options you have, and how to approach this situation with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re at the beginning of the process or are facing delays halfway through, knowing your rights and your next steps makes a big difference.

Understanding Why a Spouse Might Refuse to Sign

Before diving into solutions, it helps to understand the possible reasons behind the refusal. These can vary widely:

  • Emotional resistance – They might not be ready to let go of the marriage.
  • Disagreement over terms – They might object to the proposed settlement, child custody, or financial arrangements.
  • Control or delay tactics – Some people refuse to sign simply to make the process harder or to maintain control.
  • Misunderstanding the process – They may wrongly believe that not signing will prevent the divorce.

While emotions often run high during divorce, the legal process is based on facts and procedure—not personal feelings. So let’s look at what you can do.

Can You Still Get Divorced If Your Spouse Refuses to Sign?

Yes, you can. In the United States, no one can be forced to stay in a marriage they no longer want to be in. While the process may take longer or become more complex, most states allow you to continue with your divorce—even without your spouse’s signature.

There are typically two main paths forward:

  1. Contested Divorce
  2. Default Divorce

Each has different legal steps, timelines, and requirements.

Option 1: Contested Divorce

If your spouse won’t agree to the terms of the divorce, you may have to file for a contested divorce. In this type of divorce, both parties don’t agree on one or more key issues—such as property division, child custody, or spousal support.

Here’s what typically happens in a contested divorce:

Step-by-Step Breakdown

  • You file for divorce and serve your spouse with legal papers.
  • If your spouse responds but refuses to settle, the case proceeds through the court system.
  • Court hearings are held to examine each side’s position.
  • A judge makes decisions about the disputed issues.
  • The divorce is finalized by court order, even if your spouse never agrees to it.

This route can take longer and often costs more, but it ensures that the court will step in and make a fair judgment based on evidence and law—not on someone’s refusal to cooperate.

Option 2: Default Divorce

If your spouse ignores the divorce papers completely—meaning they don’t respond within the timeframe set by your state—you may be eligible for a default divorce.

How It Works

  • You serve your spouse with divorce papers.
  • If they don’t file a response (usually within 20–30 days), you can request a default judgment.
  • The court reviews your petition and proposed terms.
  • If everything is in order, the judge may approve the divorce by default.

This can be a faster option than a contested divorce, but you still need to follow proper legal procedure for service and timelines. Missing a step could delay the process.

Special Considerations Based on State Laws

Laws and divorce procedures vary by state, so it’s important to understand the rules where you live.

Some states, like California and Texas, allow default judgments if the responding spouse doesn’t take action. Others may require additional hearings or documentation. States like New York also allow a divorce to proceed if a spouse is uncooperative—but only after specific steps, like serving papers through alternate methods or publishing a notice in a local newspaper, are taken.

In all cases, it’s best to speak with a licensed family law attorney to avoid mistakes that could cost you time and money.

Serving the Papers Correctly Matters

If your spouse claims they didn’t receive the divorce papers, the court may not proceed until you prove that you followed the correct legal process. You usually must:

  • Serve papers using a neutral third party or professional process server.
  • Get a proof of service to file with the court.
  • Consider alternative methods of service (such as publication or mailing) if they’re avoiding being served.

If your spouse is intentionally avoiding service, most courts allow alternative methods once you show reasonable effort was made to reach them.

When You Need a Lawyer

While it’s possible to start a divorce without a lawyer, having one is incredibly helpful when your spouse won’t cooperate. A family law attorney can:

  • Advise you on your state’s specific divorce laws.
  • Help you file motions if your spouse is delaying or obstructing.
  • Represent you in court during a contested divorce.
  • Ensure all paperwork is completed properly and filed on time.

At Daniels Law Firm, we guide clients through both straightforward and high-conflict divorces, helping them move forward legally and emotionally, even when the other party is uncooperative.

How Long Does the Divorce Process Take If a Spouse Won’t Sign?

The timeline varies based on the type of divorce and how cooperative (or uncooperative) your spouse is:

  • Uncontested divorce: 3–6 months (if your spouse signs and settles quickly).
  • Contested divorce: 6–18 months or longer, depending on the court schedule and number of disputes.
  • Default divorce: 30–90 days after failure to respond (varies by state).

Delays are often caused by missed court dates, incomplete forms, or intentional roadblocks from the other spouse. Having a plan—and legal support—keeps things moving.

Emotional Tips for Handling a Non-Cooperative Spouse

Legal issues aside, this situation can be emotionally draining. Here are a few ways to stay grounded:

  • Focus on your goals – Remember that you’re seeking a resolution for a better future.
  • Avoid retaliating – Don’t match their stubbornness with more conflict.
  • Document everything – Keep records of communication and legal actions.
  • Get support – Therapy or counseling can help manage stress and grief.

While your spouse may try to slow the process, you don’t have to let their refusal define your progress.

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Conclusion

If your spouse won’t sign divorce papers, it’s frustrating—but it’s not the end of the road. Whether you pursue a contested divorce or move forward with a default judgment, the legal system is built to ensure that one person’s refusal doesn’t keep the other trapped.

Understanding your legal rights, following the correct procedures, and working with an experienced divorce attorney can help you move forward—on your terms.

When you’re ready to take the next step, consider reaching out to a trusted legal team like Daniels Law Firm. We’re here to help you navigate the process, even when things get complicated.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can I still get a divorce if my spouse won’t sign the papers?

Yes. If your spouse refuses to sign, you can still proceed with the divorce through a contested or default divorce, depending on whether they respond or ignore the legal paperwork.

2. What is a default divorce and how does it work?

A default divorce happens when your spouse doesn’t respond to the divorce petition within the required timeframe. In this case, the court may grant the divorce based on your original terms without needing their signature.

3. How long does a divorce take if my spouse is uncooperative?

It depends on your state and the type of divorce. Contested divorces may take 6–18 months or longer, while default divorces can sometimes be finalized in 30–90 days after non-response.

4. What if my spouse is avoiding being served divorce papers?

If your spouse is actively avoiding service, you may be allowed to use alternative methods such as service by publication or mail. You’ll need to show the court that you’ve made reasonable efforts to serve them.

5. Do I need a lawyer if my spouse won’t sign the divorce papers?

While not legally required, having a family law attorney can make the process smoother, especially if your spouse is refusing to cooperate or if your case goes to court.

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